


Warning: Scourge not fully Charged

by violasarecool



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Canon Compliant, F/M, FLARP, Fiduspawn, Gen, Not Humanstuck, Pre-Sburb/Sgrub, Pre-Sgrub
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-19
Updated: 2014-05-19
Packaged: 2018-01-24 22:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,300
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1618871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/violasarecool/pseuds/violasarecool
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The side adventures of team Charge and Scourge (and a couple of mopey fuckwads).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Warning: Scourge not fully Charged

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: Hey, Redglare, 8usy?  
AG: Oh, wait, I almost forgot, you're pro8a8ly just playing with your stupid toys.  
AG: Guess you have plenty of time to stand uselessly on the sidelines while I annihilate some pathetic wrigglers :::;)  
GC: 4CTU4LLY 1M K1ND OF BUSY W1TH 4N 1MPORT4NT C4S3  
GC: GO F1ND SOM3ON3 3LS3 TO DR4G 4LONG TO YOUR P1R4T3 G4M3S M1NDF4NG

Terezi paused, and lifted her head from her husktop, noting a figure in the doorway. "Tired of Dualscar already?"

"Ugh, don't even  _talk_  to me about him." Vriska leaned against the doorframe, one hand resting on the hilt of her cutlass. "He's so  _boring,_  all he does is talk talk talk, how he's going to wipe out all the 'landwwellers' or whatever." Terezi grinned.  _Landwwellers._  "Maybe if he put his money where his mouth is, I wouldn't have to keep dealing with bogus apocalypse devices."

"I'm pretty sure he thinks that if you get a real one then he won't have to do it himself." Terezi turned her chair around, and deposited several scalemates on the floor.  _This investigation will be continued a later date. Be sure you are ready, Professor Pucefoot._

Vriska narrowed her eyes. "But that's even dumber, because then the seadwellers would die as well. That's  _kind of_  the point of an apocalypse device:  _everyone dies._ "

"Yeah well, you're dumb enough to think one exists in the first place."

"Hey!" Vriska glared at her, and Terezi cackled. "I am  _kind of_  an apocalypse expert, ok," she spat, and swept out of the room. 

Terezi rolled her eyes, but grabbed her cane and double-headed coin and followed.

* * *

 "I still don't understand why you're so vehemently opposed to flarping, though."

Sollux stretched his arms out behind him, and turned so he was facing Aradia. Albeit upside down, and a few feet in the air. "You're playing games with a psychopath," he said. "I mean, murder is just so much fucking fun, you're absolutely right." He watched the flickering light from his psionics dance across her face.

"Psychopath?"

"And a spiderbitch."

Aradia glanced up at him, eyebrows raised.

He smirked. "Ok, fine, I'm joking," he said. "They're both equally psychopathic."

"Uh huh." She glanced back down at the screen, scrolling past several badly written walkthroughs on a new technique she wanted to try. It would be so much simpler if real world abilities like her psychics were allowed to be used in the game. Though, on the other hand, if Vriska could use  _her_  powers... 

"Anyway," she said, closing the webpage, "we don't murder people. I mean, sometimes  _novices_  die, but—"

"Vriska feeds thousands of trolls to her lusus." He folded his arms. "I don't know if you've noticed, but when trolls get eaten,  _they die._ "

"Wow,  _really?"_  Aradia laughed, and stood up, planting a kiss on his nose. "Stop worrying, I'm not going to get fed to spidermom. I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

His mouth curled up in a tiny smile. "I know."

She beamed at him, and his stomach twisted in a not entirely unpleasant way. "Come on, me and Tav are going to play Fiduspawn."

He wrinkled his nose. "I'm not breeding those weird little pieces of shit."

" _Please_ , they're not weird, they're actually really cute." When he continued to look skeptical, she tugged him upright. "Come on, you haven't left your hive in  _ages._  Also your face was starting to turn yellow," she said, and giggled when he dropped to the ground with a huff.

"Fine, alright, let's go brave the dangerous outdoors and monsters and shit to play a card game." He shoved the small rectangle of his portable husktop into his pocket, and kicked a couple of game grubs out of the way. Some of them were still quite small, and he rolled them into the corner of the room where they wouldn't be eaten by a larger grub.

"Also, I told Karkat you'd be there, so he's coming."

He paused, a grub no longer than his middle finger wriggling in his palm. "You say that as if it's further incentive for me to come. Have you  _heard_  a conversation between us that wasn't an argument?"

Aradia grinned. " _Please,_  you totally enjoy it."

"Whatever." He tossed the grub down with the others. "Well, let's go already!" he said, grabbing her arm and dragging her toward the door.

"Slow downnn," she said, hooking her arm more securely around his. "You're such a drama queen."

"Hah." He shoved his other hand in his pocket." Why do I even put up with you?"

"Because you like me?" She leaned her head on his shoulder, tipping her face up towards his.

He scrunched up his face, then reached out a hand and tapped her nose. "Maybe."

* * *

Terezi kicked aside the empty shells of her gaming flapstractions, watching their pixelated forms flutter away. Just one stayed behind, making its way to flutter above her head.

GC: 4LR1GHT  
GC: ST4T B4T 1S R34DY  
AG: Pfft, stat 8at. Who named these things anyway????????  
GC: H3H3  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1TS 4 GOOD N4M3  
GC: WH4T DO YOU H4V3 4G41NST RHYM3S HMM? >:P  
AG: Other than everything you mean?  
AG: Come 8n, you're w8sting time! Get into position, soldier.  
AG: The other side is ready to go.  
GC: OK OK

Terezi made her way to the foot of her hive, and scanned the dark forest, pastel leaves swaying in a light breeze. No sign of the flapstractions, but there was plenty of terrain to cover. No reason to suppose they weren't hidden by the dense foliage.

AG: ...I still can't 8ELIEVE charge skipped out on us like that.  
AG: All they would have had to do is play one measly session, and I wouldn't have 8een sentenced to another DISMAL attack of nasty mcwhiny face.  
GC: SHRUG  
GC: TH3Y JUST W4NT3D DO SOM3TH1NG 3LS3 1 GU3SS >:\  
AG: What, like playing card games for wrigglers?  
AG: H8h!!!!!!!!  
GC: WR1GGL3RS WR1GGL3RS WR1GGL3RS  
GC: YOU SUR3 L1K3 TO US3 TH4T WORD 4 LOT  
AG: Whatever. These guys are going to 8e a 8reeze.  
GC: Y34H PROB4BLY  
GC: TH3 OTH3R PL4Y3RS CL4SS 1S K1ND OF P4TH3T1C  
AG: Suits their tiny think pan, don't you think?  
GC: >:P  
AG: Ok, I think 8oth sides are ready now.  
AG: There's the signal!  
GC: Y34H 1 KNOW

As the starting signal faded with a burst of colour, Terezi's hand tightened on her cane, and she crept out across the grass, leaves crunching beneath her feet. She could already see the faint silhouette of her first enemy, the shadow of which barely reached above the tangled roots of the surrounding trees. She grinned.  _Bad choice._  Her Trollian window blinked with a new message from her clouder, the third since the campaign started, but she ignored it for another moment to check Vriska's messages.

AG: Ok, I'm going to monitor this loser for a while.  
AG: Clouder duties, you know.  
AG: (Yawn.)  
AG: Good luck! ::::)  
GC: 4ND YOU >:]

arachnidsGrip [AG] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC] 

High up among the pink leaves, a light blue scalemate spun slowly, its pink button eyes barely visible in the shade.  _Why, Duke Pinesnort, what luck to see you here! An auspicious sign indeed for the beginning of what will likely be a successful campaign. May all our enemies be defeated in as efficient a manner as your gracious self._

Alright, enough messing around.

She sighed, and opened the  _other_  Trollian window.   _Wow..._

excitableGrubmaster [EG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

EG: are you and your clouder ready to ?tart???? !ve f!n!?hed ?ett!ng up your campa!gn!!   
EG: hello???? are you there??!  
EG: ok well !m ready for your f!r?t move!!!!  
GC: Y34H H1 4LR1GHT  
EG: hello!  
GC: SO H3R3 1 4M  
GC: W4LK1NG 4LONG M1ND1NG MY OWN BUS1N3SS  
GC: 1 WOND3R WH4T COULD POSS1BLY 4SS4ULT M3  
EG: what !ndeed!! X)  
GC: W3LL G1V3 M3 4 ROLL TH3N

She loosened her cane in its sheath and slowed her pace a little.  _So what's it going to be. How about something interesting, hmm??_

EG: you roll a ?even!  
EG: you encounter a w!ld garden ?calebea?t!

She watched as a small lizard-like flarp projection scampered out of the shadows.  _Or not._

Half an hour into the campaign, the other player was out and presumably being fed to a particularly hungry spidermom; meanwhile, Terezi stood over a cowering group of Dirt Gastropods. She held her two-face coin flat in the palm of her hand. "Look at the poor pathetic dirt-eaters cowering in the mud. Better put you out of your misery!" She closed her fist over the coin. "How does this sound: heads, I kill you, scratch, you die a most unfortunate death?" She cocked her head to one side, watching their little stalk eyes shrink back into their bulging bodies. She grinned. "Glad you agree!"

She flicked the coin into the air, and watched it tumble back down, glinting in the minimal light as it smacked into her palm, and she turned it over and slapped it against her other hand.

The Gastropods watched in abject terror.

She lifted her hand—a perfect, unmarked face stared back at her.  _Heads!_ She lowered her hand, showing the result, before letting the coin tumble dramatically to the ground. She lowered her face to look them in their tiny eyes. "A favourable flip, wouldn't you agree?" She drew her swords, letting their blades scrape in the echoing silence. "Farewell, enemies of the law." She slashed through their soft bodies like butter, or, well, like projections of the creatures they were mimicing. Their translucent projected forms flickered and disappeared even as a new message appeared on Trollian.

arachnidsGrip [AG] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AG: What a production! Took you long enough, Redglare.  
GC: 1 D1D WH4T N33D3D DO1NG  
AG: Yeah, you really had a hard time of it fighting all those 8ig nasty snails ::::P  
GC: 1TS NOT MY F4ULT MY CLOUD3R S3T 4 P4TH3T1C C4MP41GN >:|  
GC: 1V3 D3F34T3D MONST3RS TW1C3 4S H4RD 4S SOM3 OF YOUR BULLSH1T 3N3M13S 4ND YOU KNOW 1T  
AG: Hey, what a8out the time I saved your ass against that giant swarm of Cluster Trackers????????  
AG: That was WAY worse than your pathetic flu88er face enemy.  
GC: OK M4YB3 W3V3 JUST BOTH DON3 SOM3 GR34T STUFF  
AG: We ARE pretty fabulous opponents!  
GC: Y34H >:]  
AG: Well this was fun, Terezi.  
AG: You should come 8y my place, we can practise some sparring moves :::;)  
GC: SUR3  
GC: YOU'D B3TT3R B3 PR3P4R3D FOR 4N 4SSK1CK1NG M1NDF—1 M34N VR1SK4  
AG: We'll see about that >::::) 

* * *

 "Are you ready to, uhh, have your asses kicked?" Tavros was practically bouncing up and down, and Sollux suppressed a snort.

Beside him, Karkat rolled his eyes. "We're quaking in our fucking shoes over here, just can't wait to have this impressive scene absorbed into our gander bulbs." Aradia shuffled the cards one last time, and Karkat winced as they flipped together with a loud snap.

"Do either of you need any of the rules repeated?" She started dealing out cards, smacking them in front of each player with brutal accuracy.

Sollux half raised a hand. "What's the deal with the eggs again?"

"It's not a big deal," Aradia said, waving a handful of cards, "they just—"

"They're actually called  _Oogonibombs_ ," Tavros put in, a self-satisfied smirk on his face—the bastard—and Aradia glanced at Sollux, her lips tugging up at the edge.  _No, stfu, he's so damn full of himself._  "You can throw one at any time, during your turn, to hatch a Fidusucker, and then that impregnates your Host Plush."

" _Fidusucker_ ," Sollux muttered.

"Why don't we just try starting and see what happens?" Aradia said, raising her eyebrows at him.

He threw his arms up in front of him. "Fine, fine, let's just do it." He sighed, and as Tavros started whispering in Aradia's ear, Karkat leaned over, giving Sollux's levitating cards a cursory glance.

"I think we should give these fuckers what they're looking for. If you use one of your boost cards first turn, we might be able to last long enough to get a half decent monster."

"You almost sound enthusiastic," Sollux said dryly.

Karkat glared at him. "Why, do  _you_  want to lose to  _team Charge?"_

Sollux watched as Aradia pointed excitedly at a card in Tavros's hand. "They're kind of fucking amazing at this game. I don't think team  _Mopey Fuckwads_  really stands a chance."

"Come  _on._ " Karkat grabbed his shirt sleeve, and Sollux swung his head around to raise an eyebrow at him. "Are you being depressingly fatalistic about a mothershitting  _card game?"_

"Yeah, maybe I fucking am. Problem?"

Karkat narrowed his eyes. "Motherfucker please, don't even start. I can out-argue you any day, just goddamn watch me, I will spout bullshit until your exoskeleton wilts under the pure force of the air pealing from my squawk gaper."

"Yeah, because half of the things you say aren't even  _real words_ , so if your 'squawk gaper' can handle the rejection, I'm going to keep my goddamn lack-of-exoskeleton and you can blither into oblivion for a while if you want, idgaf."

"Did you, uhhh, just say 'idgaf'? Out loud?"

They both looked up. Aradia and Tavros were staring, Aradia's cards dangling loosely from her hand; one slipped from her grasp, and she caught it with a flick of her eyes, a white glow circling it as it floated back up to her hand.

Karkat drew himself up to face them. "Well, are you going to play a card or aren't you?"

"We were waiting, for you," Tavros said, "so, yeah."

"Ready when you are," Aradia said, and Sollux and Karkat exchanged gloomy looks.

After half an hour of hatching bizarre monsters and playing card after card with incredible inefficiency—and team Charge had the grace to give team 'Mopey Fuckwads' another chance with a new set of cards... twice—Sollux's hand was empty, Karkat only had an energy card and a hatcher card left, and their monster, WASPERA, was looking pretty pathetic.

"Just use the energy card already," Sollux muttered. "We've got like nothing left to do here."

Karkat rolled his eyes and shoved the card at him. "No point, it's the wrong type."

Sollux picked it up, and held the corner between his thumb and finger, staring it its smug blue trim. "Are you shitting me."

"I fucking wish."

"Alright, let's go," Tavros said, and they watched as he raised his hands to his head, sending the opposing RAMCLOPS smashing into their monster.

Karkat sighed, and flung the rest of his cards at the floor. "How is it I'm the only one without some kind of fucking awesome mind powers, anyway?"

"Lowbloods, are the best, that's how," Tavros said, stepping around a puddle of hatchling goo to pick up an unused egg.

Karkat opened his mouth as if to say something, then closed it quickly.

"Anyway," Aradia said, "same time next week?"

Karkat's head shot up. "Hahahah fuck no, sorry, can't, got   _slightly_  more fucking important things to do than play card games all day _._ "

Aradia turned to face Sollux; he shook his head. "No." She tipped her head to one side, eyes wide. "No no no, don't give me that fucking look, I have programming shit to do, game grubs to hatch, I'm a busy busy troll." She took a step toward him, grinning. "Nope," he said, and he grabbed Karkat by the shoulders and shoved him in between them.

"Hey!" Karkat struggled free, and quickly sidestepped them, "no  _way_ , I'm not being your go between troll, don't make me fucking auspisticize between you and your matesprit," Sollux began shuffling away, "that isn't even a thing, fuck you Captor."

Sollux slipped around Karkat and Tavros, and made for the door. "K nice fighting monsters with you, I'm out," he said, and walked into the open air; he shrugged and, ignoring the ramps, stepped off the edge of the building, his body lighting up with psionics as descended to earth.

Aradia caught up with him a few minutes later. He kissed her before she had the chance to bring up  _Fiduspawn_  again.

* * *

Terezi lay on the floor, her foot jiggling in the air as she typed on her phone. Across from her, Vriska fiddled with a broken 8-ball, barely glancing at the magazine that lay open to a page of of famous trolls—mostly male movie stars.

"Who're you talking to?" Vriska asked, rolling onto her back.

"Aradia." Terezi smirked as Vriska's posture changed at the mention of her name, then began tossing the 8-ball into the air, catching it with a resounding smack before releasing it into the air again with quick, impatient flicks of her hands.

Terezi didn't say anything else, though.

"I suppose they're not grovelling at our feet for skipping out today," Vriska said.

"Nope." Vriska casually leaned closer, trying to read the screen, but Terezi tipped it further up.

Vriska narrowed her eyes. "You're fraternizing with the enemy."

"Am not."

"You are  _so_  fraternizing with the enemy. Give me that!" Vriska grabbed at her phone and Terezi whipped it out of reach.

"Hey, stop it!" Terezi exclaimed, leaning further away, but Vriska rolled to her feet and sat on Terezi's outstretched back. Terezi twisted her head around to glare at her. 

Vriska grinned back, eyebrows raised. "Well, go on. Weren't you in the middle of answering an  _oh so important_  message?"

Terezi sighed, and cautiously pulled her phone back toward her body. As she started typing again, Vriska propped her elbows up on Terezi's shoulders, and read over her shoulder.

Meanwhile, in Aradia's hive, Sollux sat next to Aradia as she typed.

"Who are you talking to?" he asked, peering over her shoulder.

"Terezi." She tipped the screen toward him, and he rested his head on her shoulder, eyes on the screen.

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AA: hey  
GC: H3Y  
GC: HOW W4S Y0UR SUP3R 3P1C C4RD G4M3? >:P  
AA: it was fun! :)  
AA: even th0ugh i realize y0ure being slightly sarcastic  
AA: we t0tally kicked s0llux and karkats asses :D  
GC: H3H3  
GC: JUST B3C4US3 1 F1ND YOUR G4M3S BOR1NG DO3SNT M34N 1 DONT ST1LL 4PPR3C14T3 4 GOOD 4SSK1CK1NG  
AA: fair en0ugh  
AA: and h0w did y0u find y0ur flarping partners  
GC: BOR1NG >:[  
GC: TH1S 1S WHY W3 FL4RP W1TH YOU GUYS  
GC: 4T L34ST C4MP41GNS 4R3 4LW4YS 1NT3R3ST1NG W1TH T34M CH4RG3  
AA: ill take that as a c0mpliment!  
AA: maybe we can get back t0 it in a few days  
AA: i havent flarped as much as i would like recently  
GC: SUR3  
GC: 1 DONT TH1NK TH4TLAEIN3RLN4  
GC: lKJB  
GC: GKJ4N1GLKNRDS  
AA: :?  
GC: OH MY GOD  
GC: SORRY  
GC: VR1SK4 TR13D TO T4K3 MY PHON3  
AA: hah  
GC: SO DUMB  
GC: H3H3 NOW SH3S GLAR1NG 4T M3  
GC: W3LL SUCK 1T  
AA: hi vriska  
AA: flarp with us again later  
GC: SH3 S4YS SH3LL TH1NK 4BOUT 1T  
GC: M34N1NG SH3S F1N3 W1TH 1T SH3S JUST 4CT1NG 4LL SNOBBY B3C4US3 YOU D1DNT COM3 TOD4Y  
AA: 0k :p  
GC: 1 TH1NK 1LL PROB4BLY CLOUD N3XT T1M3  
AA: well maybe ill play the campaign next time! :p  
GC: B3TT3R W4TCH OUT  
GC: 1LL G1V3 YOU THE MOST D1FF1CULT G4M3 YOUV3 H4D Y3T >:]  
AA: bring it 0n!! :D

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

 GC >:?  
GC: W4S TH4T TH3 CU3 FOR TH3 3ND OF TH1S CONV3RS4T1ON

apocalypseArisen [AA] began trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

AA: s0rry  
AA: i was just saying g00dbye t0 s0llux  
AA: i didnt mean t0 leave y0u s0 abruptly!  
AA: but yes i think im g0ing t0 get 0ff n0w  
GC: OK  
GC: T4LK TO YOU L4T3R TH3N  
AA: yes  
AA: flarp with y0u later :)  
GC: H3LL Y3S  
GC: L4T3RS

apocalypseArisen [AA] ceased trolling gallowsCalibrator [GC]

**Author's Note:**

> please _don't give me crit_ , constructive or not, even if you feel the need to point out a typo, i would appreciate it if you didn't. i do this for fun, and once i've posted something, i don't really want to think about it critically anymore. thanks.


End file.
